Dear Future Aaron,

On the day I am writing this, you are supposed to be preparing for an interview for an internship with Vertigo Entertainment, but you keep second guessing yourself. You keep wondering what the point is because you aren’t sure if you want to pursue film anymore- not after the last nightmare of a job you had. You still feel broken inside and you’re still trying to figure out how to get back to the person you were before your heart was torn apart. 

“You will overcome all this and more”, said the satiated to the impoverished.

Was he right? Are you reading this, now, thinking “look how far I’ve come”, or will you keep on this track of self loathing and complacency with weakness? In preparing for this interview, you’re expecting them to ask you “Where do you see yourself in five years?” and I’m thinking… career wise, it doesn’t really matter where the fuck you are so long as you aren’t sitting in your parents house, whining about boys and how you’re hurt and not the same person you were before your heart was torn apart. I want you to be successful and I want you to be saying to yourself “look how far I’ve come”. 

So I’m starting now. The Aaron of the past is pushing forward to get you where you are now. You are better because I’m deciding right now that you’re going to get this interview, and I’m deciding that it’s going to be good for you, and I’m deciding that you can be whatever you want to be as long as you keep moving forward. I’m deciding that whatever you are faced with in the next few days, weeks, and months, you can make the most out of it. I’m deciding right now that you’re crawling out of this hole that you’ve been in for months. I’m picking us up and getting us closer to where you are, which is successful and happy. 

A few days ago I reflected on a quote by Madonna: “Power is being told you aren’t loved, and not being destroyed by it.” I told myself when I read this that I am weak and that the happy, loving, faith-filled person you were when you were in your relationship is dead and he’s never coming back again. That was wrong. You’re going to be like a mother-fucking Phoenix alright? You had your heart broken but you actually were never told you weren’t loved. You had all the love you needed all along to get you through. I’m harnessing all that love right now, remembering it, reminding myself of it, holding it in my memory, and I’m sending it to you now through this letter. Never forget how loved you are. Never forget how much love there is for you in the world and hopefully when you see this again in the future, you’ll think, “damn I loved myself so much, I wrote this amazing letter to help me move forward”, and you’ll think “I love you, past Aaron”, which will be funny because I love you too future Aaron. And then you’ll be reminded that the past, the present, and the future will always have love ready for you should you open your heart to accept it. How’s that for a fucking time paradox you sneaky asshole? 

Love yourself, Aaron. It’s the only way to keep yourself progressing and becoming who you are supposed to be. It’s what’s kept you growing in the past and what’s got you to where you are today. 

With all my heart, 
Past/Present Aaron

PS. YOU BETTA WERK TOMORROW

 

 

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