Among the Stars

It’s been a little over a month now since I’ve started my new internship and though I’ve commuted to West Hollywood several days per week, today is the first day I’ve noticed the famous Hollywood sign looking down over the city in the hills.
It was reassuring in a sense. Somehow grounding. It was a realized moment- i said to myself “yes, this IS where I am supposed to be right now. Right here in this bullshit traffic after an unpaid 8 hours at work.”
My fellow assistant is a lovely person and I really enjoy having her help, input, and listening ear when I need to vent, but I can tell she is second guessing her patience and her decision to move out to LA. Me? As annoyed as I have gotten and as frustrated as I’ve been and as much as I’ve lost my patience…I have full faith that my hard work is going to pull through for me. I’m happy being miserable sometimes. It’s exciting. It’s new. It’s challenging me. I’m growing from it and I can see it happening with each new day. That’s what I want for myself right now. That’s what I need, I think. To make things hard for myself, push me farther, test my patience, inch me closer towards whatever it is I’m meant to do/be in my life.
I can’t say Im happy, because a lot of days I sit and wish I had someone other than my family to share this all with. Sometimes I wish it was him…still. But I can say I am working hard and even though I’m not getting paid, it still feels rewarding. I am serving and fulfilling myself the best way I know how, and that’s all that really matters.

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